Scary Lasting after effects

[d11]

I would appreciate any insight into this please. I've smoked 15x twice. Once a month ago and once two weeks ago. Neither time did I experience a full 'breakthrough', nor did I want too. I was interested in it for the post experience mood elevating properties many users report. I guess 15x is not the best way to start. To counteract it's potency I only held the hit for about ten seconds and smoked with a small pipe. I agreed with the hype that the extract would have a more uniform chemical distribution.

So, while not getting full-on hallucinations, both times I experienced very wierd physical sensations and a perceptual 'phase shift', a flattening of the whole visual field. Coming down after the first trip I sensed a bubble, a sphere, in my head that contained the world I was about to enter. This effect dissipated in a few minutes and I felt fine.

Second time after doing the hit, within seconds I experienced acute panic, racing heart, a huge sense of shock, and acute depersonalization. It was as though I was seeing through 'the eyes' of a seperate conscious entity that had taken up simultaneous residency inside my head. there were no vivid hallucinations but this universe became less real

I felt truly crazy. For several minutes I just sat entranced and in misery and fear. My sitter friend had no idea of how anxious I was but his presence, a good and trusted friend, made me 'paranoid.' 15 minutes later I was shaken but ok.

The problems kicked in two days later when I woke feeling like I was tripping. This is to say feeling the same depersonalization, as though i didn't fully inhabit my body. This was accompanied by severe anxiety and fear of going outside. I had errands I needed to do and managed to get through them in a state of real fear. This lasted several hours.

Ten days have passed. There have been continuing bursts of anxiety though less extreme. What worries me is the continual subtle persistance that I am different. My memory seems ok but there is a sense of being disconnected to
my normal sense of identity. I used to take naps and now I feel to anxious and alert, like I switched on some brain circuitry that's always running in the background. I can still read and concentrate but that seems somewhat impaired as I am distracted by this 'alien' sensibility.

Sometimes there is a very odd sense that my mind is 'strobing' at fantastic speeds. What I mean is, I feel very fully in the now, because each millionth of a second my mind strobes to bring me into the exact present, as though the present is all their is. Very Buddhist I suppose.

Again, these subtle 'psychotic' senses are not interfereing with work, and sometimes it seems like I'm just swelling on things that I'm making up. But I know when I woke up this morning my heart was racing, and i felt a panic attack coming.

Not fun. I am not 'integrating' this. On erowid I found many accounts of people experiencing unwanted efffects for days up to years later.

I realize this account is more boring then a wildly descriptive account of a visionary experience. I envy those people.

Sometimes just drinking some beeer helps, but I don't want to get alcoholic.
The most distressing part is I just don't feel whole anymore...like 20 percent is gone...Like they should call it 15x extract because it extracts 15x of your soul if you hit 'threshold', which I suppose I did.
I feel colder about things. It's somehow an ice cold experience.

No fool like an old fool...I'm not a kid for sure. Maybe thiis psychoactive triggered a latent schizophrenia....I hope not. I don't here voices or see anything out of the ordinary. It's just like I switched something on that won't fully go away.

The effects of salvia arent known fully at all. Maztecans weren't hitting up enhanced doses in bongs.

'Lady Salvia,' Alien plant Goddess......seems like a very frightening or at best unpleasant toxin......All it seemed to teach me is a new respect for normal waking consciousness, which at the moment seems compromised...and that is scaring me.

Can anyone help me understand what I'm describing? Should I see a doctor about medication, is there a med? or is this something that can be expected to 'integrate' in time and not be experienced as an intrusion or an illness? I'm being a baby I guess. But sometimes you get a little more then you bargain for. I've used LSD and DMT, though not in a long time, but this stuff.......At least for me it's bad news.

Thanks

[3ulogy]

hmm, sounds like shit, i dont really get any after effects a few days later except maybe a bit light-headed

[Urban Shaman]

This is why we don't smoke salvia to get high. You admitted to going into salvia to get the after effects...yet you weren't prepared to have the experience before it. As a result, salvia showed you yourself. Those weren't another entities eyes, those were you eyes clear of muck and habit.

So these bouts of depression and anxiety could very well be the un-resolved experience that you weren't ready and didn't want to have.

No worries man, that will go away. Don't be getting hooked on meds just because your life seems dark - once you realize it is all a matter of your perception you will be fine. Takes some deep thinking, picture yourself clear, try to unravel the experience. I go through dark times, disconnected, cold - just a matter of figuring out what I did in my head to make me think that way and change it. Just like switches...in a way.

Remember that salvia has a very powerful presence and should be treated accordingly. All entheogens and plants alike will return the energy given.

Take care.

P.S. I find that the pipe is a good way to smoke for a strong experience - I use 10x in a pipe, one hit. Keep that in mind when putting extracts of what is said to be one of the most powerful halucinogenic plants into your lungs.

[Fiashly]

Walking the path of the yogi is supposed to be difficult. Perhaps what has happened is that you have had your feet placed on the path for the first time.

[d11]

Originally Posted by Urban Shaman

This is why we don't smoke salvia to get high. You admitted to going into salvia to get the after effects...yet you weren't prepared to have the experience before it. As a result, salvia showed you yourself. Those weren't another entities eyes, those were you eyes clear of muck and habit.

So these bouts of depression and anxiety could very well be the un-resolved experience that you weren't ready and didn't want to have.

No worries man, that will go away. Don't be getting hooked on meds just because your life seems dark - once you realize it is all a matter of your perception you will be fine. Takes some deep thinking, picture yourself clear, try to unravel the experience. I go through dark times, disconnected, cold - just a matter of figuring out what I did in my head to make me think that way and change it. Just like switches...in a way.

Remember that salvia has a very powerful presence and should be treated accordingly. All entheogens and plants alike will return the energy given.

Take care.

P.S. I find that the pipe is a good way to smoke for a strong experience - I use 10x in a pipe, one hit. Keep that in mind when putting extracts of what is said to be one of the most powerful halucinogenic plants into your lungs.

Thanks for your thoughtful reply. It's occurred to me too that coincident with the last experience I was brought to face the dark part of my psyche. You're correct too that I was more interested in afteraffects...which I guess could be construed as a 'disrespect' of the primary experience. It's like the stuff surgically pinpointed the exact schism....then let me take it home to work with on my own inept terms.

I thought that turning to the herb as a medicinal was respect enough but
you've given me a different definition.

So many people describe powerful scary effects but keep getting back to it. I haven't been able to stop considering it too. Thanks again for the interpretation which I accept and the supportive tone.

Oh also...Fiashly....the path....For a very long time part of me has been drawn to path and practice...and a conflict has been, that there is so much crap to deal with in the world, that has affected me deeply, and this substance salvia has suggested a way to dissociate from false and negative self-identifications...and those same identifications are tied up to some extent in my making a living here to feed and house myself, and even if these identifications are negative...they are familiar and comfort me.....I don't know if I was ready to take the suggestion i found..if all this can be called suggestion.

Thanks guys.....

[meangreen]

Dear d11,

The salvia experience is powerful and REAL. There is no more serious an experience to be had. Salvia changes your perception for life. What you are describing is unfamiliar to me but I can surely say that salvia has permanently changed my perception, for good or ill. Knowledge is power and salvia gives you knowledge. Due to my salvia experiences, my life has CHANGED. My actions have been influenced by what I learned from salvia. My recent divorce was influenced by salvia, believe it or not. That is just one example.

That said, here is some real advice that you should definitely heed:

DO NOT GO TO A DOCTOR ABOUT THIS UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE PUT ON ANTIDEPRESSANTS OR (WORSE) ANTIPSYCHOTICS!!!!!!!!! I work in the mental health field and I can tell you that going down the path of prescription psych drugs is a slippery slope and you will not feel any better for doing it. If you think that you feel imbalanced now, then just wait until "modern medicine" has its way with your brain chemicals!!!!

[meangreen]

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor but I work under a psychiatrist who would probably tell you the same thing.

[MindGarden]

Originally Posted by meangreen

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor but I work under a psychiatrist who would probably tell you the same thing.

well, I AM a doctor, and I more or less agree with meangreen.
psychotropics are a sticky business.

I think your after-effects will fade with time.

[Arne]

Mean,
I couldn't help noticeing the use of the word REAL.
Having a little trouble with that word now, especially in the context.
The best advice I've heard is the 'take it all lightly' idea.
The cosmic joke, I'll say, is deeply truly a funny concept, and I had a good laugh with that realization.(there's that word again)
Affected my outlook on life? absolutely.
It's all good, unless it's not.

[unsigned_char72]

D11, don't worry--you ain't gone mad or schizophrenic. Luckyly for you, Salvia is gentle even when she has to show an harsh lesson. With time you'll integrate the experience and return back to her (I hope with more respect).

Anxiety, paranoid or bizarre thinking are not uncommon, expecially with noobies. They came after the sudden change in perception that Salvia forces into your mind. Your whole way of thinking that you have build in a lifetime is shaken from the roots; all your beliefs, including who you are and where you are interpreted in a different way and thus can appear meaningless and disorienting. Nonetheless you are given the possibility to experience reality in its true nature, which is the real gift most of us are seeking.