Interview: Mark of JLF
Written by Scott   
Sunday, 21 December 1997

We had the opportunity to ask Mark Niemoeller, proprietor of JLF, well known for selling Amanita Muscaria mushrooms, among other things, a few questions. JLF takes the position that they sell unusual non-consumable materials. What people do with those materials is up to those people, but JLF does not recommend any action with them.

 

(ED)
How did you get into the business?

(Mark of JLF)
In 1987 I began collecting Amanita muscaria to sell, and branched out from there.

(ED)
Do you grow your own Amanita muscaria mushrooms?

(Mark of JLF)
Amanita muscaria can not be cultivated in the laboratory. It is a mycorrhizal fungus that had to have a tree (roots) host. That's one of the factors that makes this species so valuable.

(ED)
Do you keep a list of things that customers order?

(Mark of JLF)
Of course. We write receipts and keep records just like any other business. Perhaps I don't understand the question; why wouldn't we keep records?

(ED)
Does anyone besides you and your employees see your customer information?

(Mark of JLF)
No. I've not gotten into the business of selling names.

(ED)
Has anyone ever gotten in any legal trouble from ordering from you?

(Mark of JLF)
I really do not understand this question at all. How exactly would one get into “legal trouble” from ordering from a company (like JLF)?

(ED)
Ah...well, I see your point. Why would anyone get in any trouble from ordering a legal product? You don't think about getting in trouble for buying baggies, even though many people package marijuana in it...true. Does the fact that you require customers to read a statement into the phone stop many people from becoming customers? Why or why not?

(Mark of JLF)
I really don't know. If there are potential customers who decide not to order because of the release requirement, they are not contacting us and letting us know.

(ED)
What are your most commonly used references for ethnobotanical information?

(Mark of JLF)
Sorry, again I do not understand the question. I do not believe the word “ethnobotanical,” meaning the historical use of plants by humans, has ever appeared in the catalog or advertising literature. I think I might have gotten this question by mistake; JLF sells experimental raw materials which we like to call “poisonous non-consumables.”

(ED)
Would you agree that it's only a matter of time before the ethnobotanical industry and its customers fall under the harsh glare of the media spotlight? If so, how do you plant on protecting yourself from the inevitable knee-jerk responses of, say, House Republicans and others who would gladly put JLF and like-minded companies out of business in exchange for a few ill-informed votes?

(Mark of JLF)
“Ethnobotanical industry?” You must be referring to the thousands of businesses that sell vegetables, culinary spices, medicinal herbs, cooking oil and/or brooms. I can't foresee anything putting that whole industry out of business, but then what do I know, I'm not a part of it and I shouldn't comment on topics I'm not educated about. I'm sure the author of this question had or has a reason for asking it, but I must admit it sounds crazy to me...

(ED)
Ever been sued for anything relating to use of misuse of JLF products?

(Mark of JLF)
Of course not! What would be the grounds? I assume the question is based on an uninformed perspective. In other words, the person that asked this question must not have seen the JLF catalog. I know of no other consumer-based retail catalog that goes to the lengths we do to accurately, responsibly and safely represent our products. This fact, combined with the required verbal-release, [JLF requires a phoned-in verbal release before they will send any products] well...Now anyone can file a civil suit (even if it's baseless); that's actually an irrelevant point. For a suit to have grounds, a tort must first be committed. Without a tort, this “theoretical plaintiff” (I say “theoretical” because I do not believe such a large idiot exists) would be shamefully tossed out the courtroom by the judge in front of the public and possibly counter-sued for malicious use of the courts. Last time I checked, we were not committing any torts or violating any business (or other) law, but thank you for asking.

(ED)
Why no problem, thank you. Do you honestly offer these items simply because you can (as your catalog states), or do you offer them to help promote and spread the rare species you sell?

(Mark of JLF)
AH! I see you have seen a catalog (an old one). Yes, JLF sells stuff because it can. In that sense, we do also promote and spread one rare species. The scientific name of that species is Freeman enterprisium. I believe that's in the family Capitalismaceae. (Whew! That was a serious near miss! You have no idea how close we just came to a long and serious philosophical lecture. We were all just rescued in the nick of time by our most clever hero, The Comedy Master).

(ED)
Have you ever heard about anyone being harmed or even killed from any misuse of the products you sell?

(Mark of JLF)
No. But golly-gee, we do sell a really, really, really dangerous product. Sometimes I think we should take it out of the catalog. I'm not sure most people are ready to handle it. I'm not sure the public is intelligent enough, mature enough or responsible enough to be trusted with possessing such a powerful material. If too many people find out about this, they might make it illegal; but I'll tell you anyway. It is the most frightening item we sell. It is called “Rocks, Sticks and Fire,” and that's what it is. And I'm sure I don't have to tell you, the educated reader, of the abuse potential here. Why, sometimes I think I might someday have trouble sleeping because of the guilt. Just think, if someone took a stick and poked his, her or another's eye out with it. It would be my fault.....NOT! (Once again, our hero saved the day. Believe me, the philosophical lecture would have been much longer and much less pleasant).

(ED)
Do you ever get approached by government agencies regarding your activities?

(Mark of JLF)
No; never (except for the IRS).

(ED)
Are the toad skins really roadkill?

(Mark of JLF)
They used to be in older catalogs. I was then selling Bufo americanus. It is an indigenous species to this area. I would go out after summer rains at night and gather road-kills. The species in the current catalog is Bufo marinus. They are not road-kills. They were executed/assassinated/euthenized. They came from Miami, Florida where they are not indigenous; they are overpopulated aliens with a pest status (as they are in many other parts of the world).

(ED)
Do you worry that offering some of the products to the public will bring unwanted attention, and possibly cause something such as Amanita muscaria to become controlled?

(Mark of JLF)
Why in the world would Amanita muscaria ever become illegal? JLF “causing” it to happen? How would that work? Here again, maybe I'm speaking from an uneducated position. Yet, maybe I can offer a more reasonable perspective. Take two groups of people. The first group is all those who have read the JLF catalog (maybe purchased Amanita muscaria, maybe not). The second group of people will be of equal number to which you will have requested questions for this interview. The first group is unfamiliar with the group that came up with the questions, and the second group is unfamiliar with the JLF catalog or company. Now interview each group. Ask them one question: “Do you believe Amanita muscaria should be made illegal?” Which group do you think is going to be more likely to answer “yes?” I would say the second group. Wouldn't you agree? So who is “causing” what here? Surely you are not unaware of these dynamics? It would not matter if you took out the name Amanita muscaria and replaced it with Hygrophorus conicus or any other exotic Latin name (mushroom or not). The fact would remain that you are the one provoking fear and suspicion by the inferior quality of your questions. (Looks as though our hero went home early today).

(ED)
Well, Mark, I'd say that the readers of Entheogen Dot would not want to see any entheogen to become illegal, I can promise you that. I think you're a little defensive to questions about the legalities of the products you sell; Every reader of Entheogen Dot worries that our government will make the plants we love illegal. The proof is in the pudding: Cannabis, Erythoxylon, Tabernanthe Iboga, Lophophora williamsii are all illegal to grow and possess. These readers would not like to stop anyone from getting access to these plant products, but none-the-less, they worry that some idiot will take too much and have a problem with it, and the media attention focused on their bad trip/hospitalization/death will cause the substance to become illegal, and that the entheogen industry will take a hit. Whether you consider yourself a part of that industry, it is that industry which supports you, and that industry will not be there if they are too afraid to order your products. You are obviously willing to defend your beliefs in court. Not everyone has the financial means to do that, but they are still interested in products like Amanita muscaria even so...we very much appreciate the fact that people like yourself are still out there. If everyone were like yourself no one would ever have to worry about growing an illegal plant. Thank you very much for taking the time to answer these questions.

To order a catalog from JLF,
send $2.00 to:
JLF
P.O. Box 184
Elizabethtown, IN
47201